July 9, 2018 at 3:17 pm #361Meredith6 Posts
How much do you charge your child rent per week? Does this include washing, cleaning room etc? My daughters in a trainee position and her wage isn’t brilliant. She has her own car but we pay for the insurance. I’ve just tidied her room and honestly, it would be more hygienic for her to sleep on the streets. I’m seething. Husband and I have threatened in the past to charge rent if her housekeeping skills do not improve which they clearly haven’t and now I’m biting the bullet and insist she pays rent! Thanks for any replies.
July 9, 2018 at 3:18 pm #362burton16 Posts
Mine pays £50 per month. He keeps his own room clean but I do his washing and most of his evening meals.
I don’t think you can realistically get back what it costs, but to me it’s more of a token gesture to get them used to having outgoings.
I wouldn’t dream of cleaning sons room myself. I’d ask him to do it if it wasn’t up to scratch, but it would feel like an invasion of his privacy if I even went in there uninvited.
July 9, 2018 at 3:18 pm #363jaz18 Posts
My mum used to charge me £20.00 a week and as soon as I started working full time she said I had to pay rent, which I did.
Get it into your daughters head as soon as poss, that she needs to start paying now she can afford to. The longer its left the harder it is, it just has to be a token amount at first if she’s not earning that much.
July 9, 2018 at 3:19 pm #364bella6 Posts
My parents took 1/3 of my wage for the 12 months or so I lived at home after uni – and no they did not clean my room or do my washing!!! But I was often cooked for.
Unbeknown to me at the time, they saved what I paid and gave it back to me when I bought my first flat.
July 9, 2018 at 3:19 pm #365Sammyf9 Posts
Since I was about 14 our rooms were our space (my sister is a **** tip fan)
I paid rent as soon as I was earning (about 1/4 of my wage) and at that sort of age neither of us would have been very impressed with a parent going into our rooms, to sort out our stuff.
Washing varied, depending on what needed doing, meals ditto.
July 9, 2018 at 3:20 pm #366nab15 Posts
Mine paid housekeeping contribution when she left college and started in a job, it came out of her 2nd months wages.
I didn’t do her washing nor went into her room once she started at college.
I think its good for them to learn how to budget. Having shown her what came in financially, and how much went out, she realised how little I was asking of her, in comparison to perhaps splitting things 3 ways (that always scares them! )
July 9, 2018 at 3:20 pm #367Suee9 Posts
I think I used to pay £200 a month and that was as soon as I had left uni and was in employment. However whatever my mum charged they would have taken earnings into consideration, i.e. she wouldn’t have charged £200 if I was only bringing home a small amount. They worked it out on extra water charge having me there (they would see the increase in water bill compared to when I was at uni!) and food etc. They fed and watered me, and mum would offer to do my washing if I left it out for her.
July 9, 2018 at 3:21 pm #368jyn3 Posts
Mine got tough love. Back then £50 a week, when they got a proper job £100. I keep the door on the bedroom door shut, if they left their clutter in the house it got thrown through the door. I do not clean or hoover their room, but I treat them as adults and do not go through their stuff. They got free food, no bills and car help. To put it into perspective my Monday -Friday lodger pays more and I do not have to feed him.
They did their own washing from the age of 16, and they were bought their own set of towels which they used and washed as they needed them. The only flashpoint was the shared bathroom which drove me mad. It also used to drive me mad the amount of money my youngest daughter spent on cheap clothes, at 16 she had more disposable income than me.
When I first started work I got a £100 a month, the first person I paid was my mum. My mantra is its a home not a hotel, and I worked so why should I be singled out to clear up after people who were no longer children. The funny thing is now they are both tidy, moan about their partners being untidy and both have cleaners.
July 9, 2018 at 3:21 pm #369milly899 Posts
I paid 1/4 of my salary to my parents as soon as I started earning at 18.
July 9, 2018 at 3:22 pm #370lea7 Posts
I am not a parent .
But there’s no way you should be cleaning the room of an adult child even if they are paying you something for me that’s a no no .
I would sit her down tell her what the deal is I would go for an affordable amount but tell her that from now on she does her own room and laundry then you either try to enforce a stanadard or you let her live in a bedroom like a slum , I would tend towards the former .
Becoming an unpaid surf for an adult child does nobody any favours .
July 9, 2018 at 3:22 pm #371pakpak10 Posts
I used to pay for bills like oil and broadband as and when I had the money (I was freelance at the time and my mother is self employed so appreciated that you have to wait until you have been paid….).
Rather than regular rent.
Agree, no way would I have wanted anyone in my room as an adult. I didn’t even want my washing going in with hers as she is a nightmare for dropping socks everywhere…..
If her room is a pigsty then just change the WiFi code until it isn’t
July 9, 2018 at 3:23 pm #372amyway9 Posts
I pay £300 a month. I keep mostly to myself. I don’t have to buy groceries, just add to the weekly list, and will have dinner saved if it’s saveable or I want it, and will sort myself out if not. I do my own washing if I’ve enough for a wash, but mum will always ask if I have any whites/ coloureds/ darks for the wash. I do my own ironing. I have my own bathroom which I clean myself, although technically is a ‘house’ bathroom, but only 3 of us there. I keep my room clean myself so nothing for my mum to do, as I should hope at 26!! She will do the floors if she’s doing the rest of the house and will occasionally dust round if she’s feeling nice, but only because it’s clean and tidy enough for her to do!
I know they’re not saving the money to give back to me though, shame!!
July 9, 2018 at 3:24 pm #373becky9 Posts
Each of mine pay £100 a month. I cook for them, usually, but they do their own washing and cleaning. They also are expected to help around the house and garden. My youngest doesnt pay as yet, as he has no earnings, but he is on a work trial this week, and knows that he will pay digs as soon as he is paid.
I pay all their mobile bills, but expect them to buy their own toiletries if they dont want to use the ones I buy.
I wouldnt dream of tidying or cleaning their rooms, and they know to leave mine alone. We all need our own space and privacy. (Though my daughter is good at “borrowing” my clothes!)
July 9, 2018 at 3:25 pm #374housemouse7 Posts
I moved back briefly in my 20s and paid £25pw (mid-90s). It was fab actually as dad was retired by then and did all my cooking and made me a packed lunch every day. cleaned my own room though-after a fashion (I have always been very untidy)
July 9, 2018 at 3:26 pm #375FUZZY9 Posts
When I started on YTS at 16, I turned over 1/3 of my allowance to my parents. It was made very clear that this was not “board and lodging” and didn’t come close to reimbursing them for the outlay of keeping me in the house.
It was a contribution to the household expenses, and I was also expected to help out: washing the pots most nights, helping with jobs around the house, helping with my grandmother’s shopping when the weather was bad, etc.
My mum did my laundry for me, I usually didn’t have time for breakfast during the week, but I got my tea each evening and a proper Sunday dinner, and breakfast on the weekends.
So in fact, between me being at comprehensive school and being on YTS and then being n a job, nothing much changed apart from me contributing financially in the small way that I was able to, except for the fact that I was buying my own clothes and buying one or two meals a day during the week.
They never tidied my room: even when I was small that was my job. My grandmother (when we lived with her) then my mother (when my parents bought their own house) used to vacuum and wash the windows for me until I was about eleven.
I continued to turn over 1/3 of my wage when YTS finished and I started a “proper” job, until I moved out.
July 9, 2018 at 5:35 pm #376fred992 Posts
I work full time and earn about 13k per year. I pay my mum £160 a month,, buy my own food/toiletries etc, cook for myself, do my own washing and clean my own room. I pay for my car on my own including insurance, share a horse and pay for that, pay for holidays when me and my bf can get away, pay for gym etc.
I cant believe some people my age dont pay rent/clean their room etc! I started paying as soon as I started earning, the same with my sister, its a bit tight some months but ive managed and would be a lot harder to manage if i moved out!
July 9, 2018 at 5:36 pm #377jennifer4 Posts
Lots of very generous people on this thread!
I am not a parent, but if she’s on minimum wage or above, I would charge the normal going rate for lodgings (round here that’s £450pcm including bills) or if it’s less than that, a proportion – 1/3 or 1/4 of her wage. I would save at least half of it for her for a future deposit.
If you charge too little, there is absolutely no incentive for her to leave, and she’ll find it difficult to make the leap financially when she wants to go. A roof over your head, bills paid, and food need to be the priorities, and everyone needs to learn that – you certainly shouldn’t be subsidising nights out, booze, squillions of clothes, treats etc by charging her a lower rent, and in the long term I don’t think you’re doing her a favour.
I wouldn’t touch her room, but I would require her to do a fair share of the housework (hoovering, washing up, taking the bins out) and hopefully the message might sink in. And I love the idea of the Wi-Fi code to make sure housework gets done!
I might also share an honest rundown of just how much it costs to live …
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